People generally behave in ways they deem optimal to the circumstances or appropriate or with sone purpose or. When trying to convince someone to change their behaviour its not good enough to describe better behaviour. Good behaviour is generally dependant on your circumstances. So this leaves wiggle room to excuse bad behaviour and rationalising it as an acceptable behaviour as determined by your circumstances. Either you can change someone's circumstances or enforce positive behaviour until the person understands that better behaviour that leads to better outcomes is possible in their circumstances.